Sophie and Jess offer their wisdom aided by the late great blind black Cocker Spaniel, Moby…

Moby: Just because humans put it in the bin, doesn’t necessarily mean that you couldn’t eat it.

Sophie: In fact, don’t assume that something is inedible until you have actually tried it. Who would have known that socks and undies were so tasty? Great texture. The toes and crutch are the best bits.

Moby: You will always regret not stealing that bread if you don’t do it now!

Moby: Any flat (or flatten-able) item on the floor is potentially a dog bed.

Sophie: Any human bed is definitely a dog bed.

Jess: Humans look silly when they have no fur on.

Sophie: … and yet, humans are dirtier and smellier than dogs. They need one or even two baths a day or they start to pong but we can go weeks at a time. Sniff me! Go on, tell me honestly.

Jess: Fresh as a daisy. Actually maybe you sat on a daisy. The other day, I scooted on mint… really fresh… tingly too.

Sophie: You dirty old dog, you… and you’ve been spayed!