We’re often quoted the words of the ancients as being evergreen and relevant to our lives today. Why not instead hear from the ordinary folk? Surely everyone wasn’t parading about in a toga philosophising. Instead of Pliny the Elder, what about Plonko the dimwit? Surely volumes could be written from his lips… but why would you bother, you ask? “Don’t bend over to look in a cupboard and then stand up abruptly,” doesn’t compare with “I think therefore I am.” No, actually it’s a lot more practical isn’t it?

I’ve seen any number of people who would benefit from this sort of grass-roots advice:

• If you are fat and forty, parcour is not for you.
• If you spend all your money you’ll have none.
• Don’t use an edge trimmer to mow a whole lawn.
• That person is only being complimentary because they work for you.

In case you think I’m being smug, I would benefit from not bending over, walking into our metal chicken shed and then standing up. In fact, at the risk of demolishing my own case that prior advice might help, I’ve done this on more than one occasion!

Nevertheless, Plonko, who has done every stupid thing in the book, reminds us not to walk around with our head in the clouds, over-engineering things and ignoring the obvious.